Okay, I know that’s a confusing title at best, and a crazy one at worst. But I wanted to lighten it up a bit this week because so far this year, we’ve been all business in this blog. (Please pause for a message from our sponsor – COME SEE US AT PROMAT NEXT WEEK). And now back to our show.
Sciurus-cide? I admit, I made it up. But not without basis. Think about this. The word homicide is derived from the Latin, homo
“man”, and cidium “act of killing”. From that you can see where the “cide” part of my made-up word came from. But what about the rest?
There is a latin word for a certain well-known ubiquitous species, which is “sciurus”. What sort of varmint (or baby-killing cannibal according to National Geographic) is that?
I’ll give you a hint…
That’s right. A distant cousin of this guy has been tormenting the Pendant team in the panel shop. This particular squirrel found his way into the shop a few weeks back, and he made a point many times over of scurrying across beams, chirping loudly at all hours of the day, and we’re pretty sure he’s been making jokes from the rafters about panel-builders (e.g. How many panel-builders does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three hundred one – one to hold the bulb in the socket and three hundred to turn the building.)
This naturally infuriated Shmedley, who responded by bringing in a pellet gun of the kind that is commonly used for varmint control. I know it doesn’t look real, but below is an actual photo (from my iPhone – I swear) of Shmedley in hot pursuit of the varmint in question. Unfortunately (or fortunately if you are of the baby-killing cannibal ilk), Shmedley’s pellet gun was routinely off the mark, and our favorite sciurus lived to mock us another day many times over.
That is until he ran into another panel shop team member, whose name we shall conceal for reasons I’ll reveal later (don’t worry Crowe, I have your back). This deadeye was in the shop by himself earlier this week, when the antagonist showed up on a beam high above. He was in the dark, but our sharpshooter was able to make out his ears, from which he deduced the position of the head containing the walnut-sized brain that had outwitted us for so long. Our hero took dead aim, and with one shot this infamous persecutor of the panel shop was dispatched to the great oak tree in the sky. Reflecting upon what he had done, our leading man felt a twinge of regret (which is why we are not revealing that it was Crowe) at having had to resort to deadly force to resolve the situation, but we reminded him many times over that he did what he had to do. And not only that, he preserved Shmedley’s sanity and also “brought home the bacon” with which James can make his famous squirrel chili (chilius sciurus if you need the Latin). He’s properly preserved in a freezer whose location we cannot divulge.
So, if you’re in the area and you think you might like a taste of chilius sciurus a la Butler, stop on by. Otherwise, come see us next week at ProMat.